How to Stop Compromising Your Inner Peace for the Illusion of Outer Peace

I asked the Akashic Records, “How can people create their own peace and balance in their lives?” Below is the response I channeled.

The Akashic Records addressed:

• How the way other people treat you isn’t really about you
• The importance of inner work and different methods to approach it
• Various misconceptions about peace
• The roles of empathy, boundaries, and intentions in communication
• How to stop compromising your inner peace for an illusion of outer peace

—

Firstly, they can realize that how other people treat them is not really about them. The things they experience when they go out into the world are not really about them. Everyone has their own internal struggles and many people project those outwards onto other people. Rather than trying to create their own peace, they disturb the peace of others with their troubles and oftentimes they make people feel guilty. They shame people, when really, the root cause of the problem has nothing to do with the person they are projecting on.

So firstly, for someone to create their own peace, they need to do the inner work. They need to face the parts of themselves that they are afraid to face. They need to feel what they are feeling to its full capacity. They need to work through what they are experiencing in whichever ways work for them.

Everyone has their own preferences for how they do their inner work. Some people will see a therapist. Others will spend more time writing, talking to themselves, talking through what bothers them. Others will find creative outlets to express themselves. There are no limits to those creative outlets. There are infinite mediums to which art can be created through. Others will seek more spiritual approaches. There are really no rules about doing inner work, so long as whatever modality and methods are being used, they lead toward the person’s healing and growth.

When one is able to work through these inner turmoils, they are able to establish their own internal balance, their own personal equilibrium, where they feel stable on their own two legs.

Where, when the outside world tries to push them and pull them in a direction where they do not really need to go, they will remain stable and firmly planted in their space of peace and balance, rather than getting completely knocked off their feet and falling into the programming of whatever is being pushed in the collective.

That is not to say that we will never stumble. We will stumble, and occasionally we will nearly lose our footing. But by continuing to do the inner work and by continuing to realize that what other people project onto you is not really about you, so you do not need to take it on, and you do not need to make it your own story. Realize that you can write your own story.

When someone does not have strong boundaries—energetically, emotionally, physically—they find themselves taking on everyone else’s pains and problems and then wondering who they really are, what they really want to do. They feel lost, because their experience is made up completely of other people’s experiences and they make it their own without even realizing it.

There is much power in establishing boundaries and distancing yourself from people for a while to really figure out who you are, what you want, and what you’re doing here. Then when you are able to come back to those places and those environments and be around those people again, you are not so easily affected and swayed by what they are projecting at you. But rather, you maintain your own energetic signature and you are not pushing your problems onto other people either. But rather, you are creating the space to have a co-collaborative conversation. A mutually beneficial interaction, where both parties enjoy each other’s company, maybe learn something from the other, and walk away from it feeling good. Hopefully the same way they walked into it—good.

We do not need to heal others’ wounds for them without their permission or without an equal exchange of energy. Simply because someone looks at you with a sad look in their eyes should not be a signal for you to step in and take on their pain for them. Empathy as a superpower, but when it is used for the purpose of taking another’s pain away, you are taking that on yourself and you are holding it in your space, in your field, in your body. And so you enter this process of constantly transmuting others’ pain and suffering for them, absolving them of the inner work that they need to do to work through it on their own.

So that person may walk away feeling better, but you walk away feeling worse, and their stories are still twisting and turning and playing throughout your mind and your thoughts. This is not healthy because it creates a dependence on you. Not only does it make your burden heavier, but when it lessens theirs, it teaches them that it is okay to have another take on their problems for them rather than working them out themselves. And inevitably, when they encounter something else that ails them, they will turn to another person and project all of what ails them instead of working it out themselves.

There’s nothing wrong with getting advice from another, but it needs to be done in a way that the space is held, rather than allowing for a projection to be taken on by someone else who is open and empathetic and trying to help you at a deep level. These types of relationships where one person is constantly giving and the other person is constantly taking, are not sustainable or healthy, even if it feels good to the person taking on the others’ pain. You feel like you’re helping someone, but ultimately, unless you are sitting and being energetically compensated in the role of a therapist or similar profession, that is not your job.

There’s nothing wrong with making someone feel a little bit less alone in their struggles, but you need to give them the tools or point them in the right direction of navigating that problem themselves, rather than stepping in and saying “Oh, here I’ll make it all better now,” and taking it on yourself. The time for that is over. People need to learn how to make their own peace and find their own balance and you will teach them how to do that rather than taking away all the clutter and all the debris in your own field. That is not how this is done. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

Intention is everything. If you approach a conversation with the intention that you will not take on any of the person’s struggles, that there will be a clear divide between your energetic fields. A boundary. Or when you create the space for something to be discussed, but it is distant from you, it is not within your field, it is outside of it. You allow the person to come to their own conclusions and work through things on their own without telling them how it is, without invalidating their experience, and without trying to just fix it and make it go away and move onto something else.

Peace is a choice. If someone is not willing to be at peace, then quite simply, they won’t be. If someone doesn’t like the feeling of peace, they will intentionally, on purpose, go out of their way to be pulled into the most tumultuous energetic dynamics that are happening, whether in their community or in the world, or right in their home, it doesn’t matter. They will find the drama, and if they can’t, they will create it.

People who are addicted to drama do not like feeling peace. So they have a choice. Everyone has free will. You do not have to be at peace if you don’t want to. There’s always drama that can be found or created. It is a tornado that you can choose to get sucked into if you want. But there is always a choice to step outside of that tornado, shift your perspective, and create the space where you can find peace within yourself.

There is a misconception that peace is boring, that peace is inaction, that peace is complete quiet and stillness and nothingness. That is simply not true. While you can experience peace in silence, in a meditation, peace can be experienced in so many ways, different volumes, different situations, different experiences.

Of course you can experience peace walking alone in a forest. But you can also experience peace, walking with an entire group of people and animals through a park with laughter and joyful conversation. It doesn’t has to be complete “peace and quiet,” so they say. You can experience peace in the moment of doing something you love. In the moment of creating something that has a bigger purpose, like cooking a meal that nourishes you at a deep level and that has ingredients that actually serve as medicine that heals you. Creating food that has wonderful taste that helps bring people together in connection and joy of the experience.

You can feel peace when you’re singing or dancing or laughing or playing. Peace is not only peace and quiet and peace is not boring. Peace is joy. Peace is gratitude. Peace is clear confidence. Peace is acting from the place of soul rather than ego.

Peace is anything and everything that you see it to be, that you imagine it to be. But peace is not war. Peace is not violence. Peace is not projecting problems onto others. Peace is not reacting in chaotic ways. Peace is not yelling, blaming, shaming.

If you look at the symbol for Libra, you will see the scales. They are balanced on both sides. That is a good representation of peace. Anything that disturbs that balance disturbs the peace. You don’t want to rock the boat.

Sometimes peace can be an illusion. If two parties are repressing and pushing down issues in the name of peace—real issues that they actually need to talk about and work through—then peace is an illusion.

It is necessary to sometimes tip those scales a little bit in order to come to a deeper understanding and a new place where something is resolved rather than suppressed. When one continuously suppresses what ails them in the name of peace, they’re creating the external appearance of peace, but the internal reality of chaos. That is not sustainable or healthy for that person.

If someone finds themselves constantly repressing what they really think and feel to not disturb the peace or to comfort another, they need to ask the deeper question of why they are really doing that. They need to speak up for themselves in a way that feels peaceful to them—well, as peaceful as possible, anyway. They need to realize that speaking up for themselves and fighting are two completely different things, that it is possible to speak up for themselves and have it be received in a way that is healthy and productive. There is a way to have this exchange where both parties, after the exchange, feel better, not worse.

There is a trauma that is created when one speaks up for themselves and then a fight is caused, they are shot down, the other person reacts in a violent way. And then the person that spoke up internalizes that as depression, as anxiety, as self-blame. They think, “Well, I spoke my mind and it really went poorly, so now I’m not going to do that again.” So in that situation, they need to work through those feelings internally. They need to overcome their own internal blocks and walls that have been built over time of repeatedly suppressing what they really think and feel.

When someone is constantly pushing down their truth, what they are creating is a blockage in their throat, in their throat chakra specifically. This can be healed with deliberate effort. Human life is too short to live it while repressing everything that is true to you.

To those who have experienced, traumatic and painful conversations, interactions, reactions, fights when they have spoken what they really think and feel, we would tell them that you are worthy. You are enough and that you deserve to speak what is true to you. You deserve to find or create the spaces where it is safe and productive for you to speak what is true to you. That if you are speaking your truth to someone who is not capable or willing to receive it, that they are not worth your energy.

There are other people out there who are capable and willing to receive your truth with love and compassion, to listen to what is true to you, to understand you, to love you.

Without all of the blame and shame and conflict, there is the possibility of having truly peaceful relationships. But that is not created by suppressing all the issues in the name of peace. There are ways to create the space for two or more people to have an open conversation with compassion, patience, and understanding. Where your words are received with love, they’re not held against you. Another person is actually able to understand what you are trying to communicate, and they’re able to respond the way that you hope they would respond in most situations.

Ignoring major issues, pushing them down, internalizing them, is not the way to create peace. That is the way to create internal dysfunction labeled as external peace. But it is an illusion and it is not true and it is not sustainable.

When the external illusion of peace falls apart for good, the person is still left with all their internal conflict and chaos that has been repressed for so long. That has been suppressed and built upon time after time, day after day, conversation after conversation. Every time they breathe in and hold their breath or they sigh rather than speaking what is really on their mind. They repressed for so long, that if they find themselves unable to repress any longer, they may explode like a volcano. It will be violent and chaotic and painful for all involved.

So rather than suppress everything that ails them, what they need to learn is how to voice their concerns and how to communicate in a way that is healthy and sustainable for them and for the other people involved.

This is a major shift, especially when you’re trying to make it with someone who you have had a relationship with over a longer period of time. They may question why, all of a sudden, now this is a problem, but it was never a problem before. Well, it has always been a problem, it’s just that the person has internalized it for so long, and then the other person goes on doing whatever they were doing and they don’t think it’s a problem, but really it is. So every time it happens, the other person continues to internalize it, creating much inner conflict.

To have peace in the world, all beings need to have peace within themselves.

There is much to learn and experience in this way and it will be unique for everyone exactly what that means. You do not have to tolerate pain, violence, conflict, miscommunication, projection, shame, or blame. Peace is very much a possibility, but it is not an instant result.

In order to get from conflict and misunderstanding to true peace, there is a bridge that needs to be crossed. And on that bridge, there will be many things: finding the confidence to speak up, navigating the confusion, navigating other people’s reactions to what you say, experiencing a way to hold space for another person and to continue to speak your truth in a healthy, level-headed way when others react in ways that you do not want. Instead of escalating another with your words, but rather, learning how to calm them down ever so slightly. That bridge varies for every situation. But if you are in the situation of conflict and inner turmoil, there is a way to get to true peace.

The longer one has suppressed all that ails them, the longer and more complex that bridge will be to navigate. It is not something that should be procrastinated any longer.

It is something that needs to be navigated with discernment, with confidence. The process will not always be pain free. It will not always be easy. But through it, one will find true clarity and true peace. Even if that means that the person that they have been communicating with can no longer be in their life because they cannot truly tolerate everything that they project outwards. That you cannot take it on any longer in the name of peace. That you are done feeling everyone else’s pain and conflict in your body and you are done making it your own.

We see that you have good intentions and we love you and you are supported all the while you navigate that bridge from the illusion of external peace, to the manifestation of true, actual, real peace. You will be able to feel the difference, trust us.

Your current illusion of peace feels heavy inside you. The true feeling of peace is light and airy. Once you feel it, instead of feeling fear of expressing yourself, you will feel confidence and excitement. You will begin to find the words that you want to speak in an easier, clearer way. They will simply flow out of you in the way that you wish to express them.

You have to break the pattern of internalizing. You have to speak up first and foremost. At first it will be hard. But over time, it will get easier. We promise you it is worth it. Whatever you lose in the process really didn’t have much value to you anyway, because it is what was standing in the way of your true peace.

So allow yourself to release this illusion of external peace that you have created. Begin to move in this direction where you are able to speak what is true to you in a way that is healthy and sustainable.

Over time, it will feel better. If another person cannot receive what is true to you when you are speaking in a way that is calm and level-headed and patient, they have a lot of inner work to do themselves and you cannot help them, and maybe they do not need to be in your life at this point in time.

What is your peace worth to you? That is the real question that you need to ask yourself.

What is the true value of experiencing real peace in your life, instead of the external illusion of peace?

We are willing to guess that the value is great. So, choose it time and time again. Choose it, even when it is hard to choose it. Eventually the choice will be easy.

Prioritize your own peace and your own balance and you will be able to carry that energy with you throughout your entire life. You will live in a way that feels authentic and true for you in a deeply personal and unique way. You will be happy when you choose your own peace instead of internalizing all these problems.

When you find a way to work through all that you have suppressed, well, your life will completely change in an unimaginable ways. We cannot describe what it will be like for you. You just have to take that first step in the direction of experiencing true peace in your life. You just have to trust us, we will not lead you wrong.

Just remember, in any interaction, there are at least two choices to make, two possibilities mainly. One: you can choose to do what you have been doing, internalizing your pain and your problems, internalizing another’s pain and another’s problems and making them your own, or Two: you can begin to go down the path of navigating what it is like to speak what is true to you, beginning to hold space for another person without trying to take it on and make things better for them. Beginning to go down that path, that bridge between your current illusion of peace and between true peace. Trust us. You want to go down that path rather than the former.

We believe in you deeply and we know that you can do this. You are infinitely loved and supported. You’ve got this.

—

I hope this post gave you the inspiration and the courage to stop compromising your inner peace for an illusion of outer peace!

If you benefited from this post, please share it with another person who may need it!